The Cardinal and What it means to me

The cardinal her daughter bought me.
I bought the second one when her
husband died so they still were together.

When I was still able to work, I worked at an assisted living. During that time I was taking care of a couple. Macey and Kirk. Well they were getting up there in age and pretty much Macey was the caregiver over her husband Kirk when I or another aide wasn't there. So one day Macey and I were talking and we sharing our experiences in how we loved birds and took care of a couple of cardinals and were worried who was feeding them now that we had both moved. Eventually, somehow the conversation moved to dying and life after death. And I asked her, if she died before me would she give me a sign, and we agreed on a sign involving a cardinal because we both loved cardinals.

A couple months later, while I was taking care of her, she passed away. It was really sad. I called her daughter and talked to her and after my shift got in my car to go home for the night. On my way home, a cardinal swooped down right in front of my windshied right as leaving the "Home" parking lot. I slammed on the breaks and remembered our deal. Then I thought, no it was just a coincidence.

But I decided to call her daughter and tell her anyways. So a couple days later she called me and said, wow, at her burial, there was this cardinal just sitting on the fence singing away through the whole thing. But still in the back of my mind I thought, well maybe again just a coincidence.

But then a couple days after that, her daughter was at a Hallmark store buying a card when she saw a little beanie baby cardinal. There was only one sitting there and she asked the lady to go check to see if there was anymore and explained why cardinals were so important to her. She came back with one more she had found and the clerk said why dont you open the little card on there, maybe there is a message for you in there. The card read birthday: August xx, (the date that Macey had died). I didn't question it at all after that.

This is just a couple example of things that happened with cardinals. Years later her daughter and I still keep in touch and share our cardinal stories.

So the cardinal became a symbol for me that things are all right. There is something more out there then this, here on earth. Thank God, right? When I finally got diagnosed with Lyme, I was so relieved to finally know what was wrong with me. I was told that in all likelihood after three weeks of doxy I'd be back to normal.

When that did not happen I went into a very anxiety ridden depressed state. One morning I tried to stand up and fell onto the floor because I couldn't feel my legs. They were too weak to hold me. I laid there on the floor for hours crying and started to pray. I prayed and prayed and prayed. All of a sudden a calm peaceful feeling came over me, and a I felt this feeling that it was ok. I would NOT get better, but I needed to go through this to help others.

Then I got this feeling to try to get up and go look out the window. And sure enough, there was my little cardinal staring straight at me from a bush right outside my window. I knew that was sign that I am somehow meant to help others that are sick too. I also keep in mind that it is just not my time to get better and I just might not ever get better, but it's necessary to go through this for a bigger reason then I can understand. To help others.

Activism I have accomplished since this experience. All mostly from bed. Don't let anyone tell you, "you can't." 

Please Click Here to Read Jenny's Cardinal Story.

Five Lyme Projects In The Works

Click Here to See Project

Project # 1. Cards For Kids~ A project to send cards to kids who are sick.  
http://fundraiserhelpat.blogspot.com/p/cards-for-kids.html
 
Please click here to learn more about this project. Basically we will be listing kids who are suffering from different illnesses and who could use a little cheering up. If you would be interested in sending a card them please check it out. If you know someone who would benefit from this, please click on the link and submit the information about the child. Thank you! 

Click Here To Go To Maps

Project # 2. For Facebook Users~
Click on the link and Tag the State you Live in to find Lymies near you~ There are maps for every state, every Province, every continent. Please join in. Let's show everyone how many people are infected in each state/country.
Click Here

Click Here To Join Facebook Group

Project # 3. Faces Of Lyme~ Part 3~ Children with Lyme Video. This is the third in a
series of Faces Of Lyme Videos that I've made. This one will feature just kids.
https://www.facebook.com/events/252190144897705/
I just need a picture or two of your child with a sentence or two about their situation. You can put factual information, like, "sick for five years,"or you can put "the human side" like, "watching his soccer team from the sidelines." Whatever you are comfortable sharing about your child's  journey through Lyme.

Click Here To Join Facebook Group

Project # 4. "Rally Around The World" for Lyme Disease. We are trying to put   
together a rally that will be on the same day in the United States and Canada
and any other country that would like to be involved. We would like a peacefully
Lyme Awareness Rally to be in front of every Capitol in every state and
Providence. We will need a team leader and committee in each state. I haven't
made a page yet for this but when I do I will keep you posted.
 https://www.facebook.com/events/463894453630122/

Project # 5 "Telling Youre Lyme Story Through Pictures"
I am  collecting pictures for this. It can be
* one or two picture
* a collage of pictures
* before/after lyme
* during lyme
* treatment pictures
* herxing

 Here is where I am putting the pictures.
http://www.squidoo.com/how-has-lyme-affected-you-patient-s-stories

Send pictures to: wheresthekarma@yahoo.com

My View on the Reality of Lyme

I'm sure some of you have noticed I have backed off a bit on my Lyme posts. Well I shouldn't say backed off, I am busier then ever. But I have changed my tune on things a bit. I wanted you to know why.

First, I'm not sure what I believe anymore. I used to believe that we all had this infection that we could treat with long term abx. I used to believe that LLMDS were the unsung heroes we needed to get better. Now, not so much. I still think LLMDS are heroes. I mean they believe in us, and listen to us and TRY to help us. I just don't think they have the answers yet. I'm somewhere in the middle of this IDSA VS Ilads thing.

You know how they say when you are in the middle of something you can't see the full picture. For example when you are in a bad relationship, you need to get your friend's viewpoint right? Because you know you are biased, you want a certain outcome. Well, doing what I do online, gives me an outside view of what's going on in the Lyme world. And I don't like what I see.

I see a lot of people spending lots of money on treatments that are not helping. And I'm not talking one treatment, I'm talking all of them. Whether it's antibiotics, picc lines, rife machines, zyto or ozone. I know a lot of people doing desperate things, and treatments that only desperate people would do. And spending lots of money doing them. The usual outcome: not much. Either you stay the same or get worse. So why do we keep doing these things?

1. Desperation. We want to get better.

2. Promises of different treatments curing Lyme. If I had a penny for how many times I heard someone say, "my drs success rate is 80%," I'd be rich. Where are these 80%? And please don't say to me, those people move on, they are not online. Because the fact is, I know the same people now, that I knew eight years ago online. And not too many are better. Some have even died.

3. The "herx" theory. Until we can really tell under a microscope, and drs are actually deploying it, I am not buying it. I know we herx, and I know there is such a thing. But honestly folks, let's face it, how many of these reactions or not true herxes and are just "flares," bad reactions to meds, or simply just over toxicity to meds.



Read this written by my friend  PJ Langhoff. I think she describes this subject well.

My wish for us all, is that there be more research. We need to figure out exactly what this is that we have, and we need accurate tests. How can we continue fighting different strains and species and infections if we don't even know for sure what we have? And we need research on the damage that "Lyme and friends" has done to us. Don't you all feel like you have circulation problems? I do. Is this damage or infection. We need to look more into it. I believe we have both, damage and infection.

So anyways, this is not to take away hope. This is not to make people feel stupid, this is not to say that noone has gotten better. This is just a little of my viewpoint on the reality I see in this "Lyme" situation.

The reason I want to get my opinion out there, is I want things to change. I want you all to get better. But if we are fighting for the wrong things, I don't think things will change. We need research. If we were dumping all our money we waste on treatments that are not helping, then maybe we would start to get somewhere and there would be hope for the future generations. Something to think about.

And again, I will repeat, I know some people get better. Just not enough.

How long have you been in Lyme treatment?

1-2 years

2-5 years

5-10 years

over 10 years

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Has Treatment Helped You?

Yes, I am cured.

Yes, a lot.

It brought me to a certain level and now I've plateaued

No, I have been on treatment but only got worse.

No, I am on treatment but stay the same.

I can't even afford treatment.

I got better with natural things instead of conventional ways.

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